After the birth

Isadora & Lady P: Dressing the Fourth Trimester Tum

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Guest blog: Isadora Watts is a London -based writer and consultant. Her first baby, Lady P, was born in February. See her blog about her transatlantic adventures here. Isadora is guest blogging for our Feelgood Motherhood blog as she navigates new motherhood. Let us know what you think about Isadora’s posts on our Twitter feed or follow her on Twitter here.

————————————

We made it! The lovely Lady P arrived, and labour really wasn’t so terrible. I actually felt back to normal quite quickly after the birth. Five weeks later, and thanks to some great team work am getting a decent amount of sleep. So I feel really good.

Until I pass a mirror, that is. Then I do a double take. ‘Hang on, I’m sure I had that baby… what on earth is that belly all about?’

Apparently it takes six to eight weeks for your uterus to return to its pre-pregnancy size – and that’s before the rest of your midsection muscles can hustle back to their normal positions. Even Gisele, photographed recently on the beach with sweet-but-unmistakable pooch, is not immune to the post-pregnancy belly. It’s a fact of new motherhood and only time (okay, and passing on the cake once in a while) will whittle it away.

One way to distract from a new mum (tiny) tum.

A baby is a good way to distract from a new mum (tiny) tum. Clever Gisele.

So while I’m waiting for the magic of breastfeeding and daily walks to do their work, I need to dress smart. After months of wearing fitted clothes proudly over my bump, I’m going back to the stuff I wore a lot in my early pregnancy.

Anything that draws a veil over exactly what’s happening around my midriff is my friend.

A lot of women still wear their maternity jeans in the fourth trimester, but I couldn’t wait to get out of mine. Instead I’m wearing the baggy old favourites that were always a size or two too big, and saw me through weeks 9 to 16. Muffin top is an ever present danger.

To further complicate matters, I’m breastfeeding which means thinking carefully about layering and access. And finally, I’m a little short on sleep so need to wear colours that flatter. Draining black is out for now, unless I temper it with some colour.

I have some oversized knits and big sloppy joe t-shirts that are fairly forgiving, but less than flattering. A smarter option is a longer jumper with a fitted waistband: I wear an old poloneck in this shape a lot, because I like the way it puffs out over my belly. Babes with Babies staple The Mariposa is a great example of the way a fitted waistband can disguise a tummy – and it’s breastfeeding friendly too. Tops with a bubble hem are good for the same reason. Next do some good ones: buy a size up, and bear in mind they don’t have built in breastfeeding access. I’m wearing my striped bubble-hem t-shirt an awful lot, over a breastfeeding vest.

I’m also hunting out anything loose and flowing in a light fabric– nothing clingy – that will take me through Spring. I love Wow at the Wolsely from the new Babes with Babies range – it’s cut to skim over the body, the soft colours are really flattering for tired skin.

Babydoll-Drawstring-Silk-Blouse---Blush-Pink--1

Fourth Trimester Flatterer

I hate to wish these precious weeks away but I must admit I’m rather looking forward to the days when there’s more of Lady P and less of me!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Any thoughts and advice for Isadora as she assesses her new mum wardrobe options? Let us know on Twitter or adding your comments here. You can see more great tops for new mum tums here.

Breastfeeding Beauty

Friday, May 13th, 2011

Caveat, caveat, caveat. I always slightly feel the need to caveat anything I say about breastfeeding. I know so many close friends and family members who’ve struggled and can’t do it. I know that it’s every mother’s personal choice and that some women just don’t want to do it.

But for those who really want to breastfeed, and sometimes cope with difficulty and pain to do it (or some inconvenience), it’s so positive to see inspiring role models.

The fabulous Miranda Kerr has previously released stunning natural pictures of herself feeding baby Finn at home.

Miranda Kerr - the early days of Flynn.

And now on Twitter she’s released this beautiful one.

breastfeeding positive role model (celebrity)

Flynn Month 4 (Courtesy Miranda Kerr)

And I looked just exactly like that when I was breastfeeding. Uncanny really, identical. Honest guv.

Seriously though, it’s a great shot. Yes it’s fashion-y, yes they aren’t perfect shoes for pushing a buggy in… but how brilliant to take the time to shoot a picture like this which is so gorgeous and makes such a positive statement about breastfeeding.  Brave, cool and very beautiful. Respect due.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

I think therefore I’m glam.

Sunday, April 17th, 2011

The longlegged perennial Jerry Hall was in the press recently talking about how important it is to think yourself beautiful’.

Hmm. Oh yes Jerry, that must be so hard for such a short dumpy plain Jane girl like you. The glamorous mum-of-four Ms Hall is definitely no dumb blonde though and this has got me thinking.  She has a point here…

Being attractive is inextricably linked with your mindset. You know how interested men all come at once? As poetry queen Wendy Cope put it so succinctly:
‘Bloody  men are like bloody buses… You wait for about a year
And as soon as one approaches your stop,
Two or three others appear.’

Often this is simply because you’re confident thanks to attention from one man, and  confidence just is incredibly sexy.  I’ll bet you know someone who isn’t actually that beautiful but is gloriously attractive. Because she acts it. Because she believes it. And if she believes it then people around her will too. Beth Ditto’s uber-confidence is fabulous.  And what about my dodgy icon of the moment: Wallis Simpson? Not a real beauty but she ensnared many a man and the respect of many a woman in her time. And what about you and me? Feel good about yourself. Think yourself beautiful. I’m going to try. Say it loud, say it proud: ‘I’m looking bloody gorgeous today!

Let’s face facts here. At no point is it more important to have a positive mental mindset than as a new mother. How does one do it though? How do you avoid the ‘mummy mindset’ that focuses on the babysick and the larger bottom and focus on feeling beautiful? It’s not easy feeling glamorous or beautiful but I’ve noticed that a significant number of my friends have definitely become more gorgeous since having babies. It defies the obvious logic but I swear it’s true.

Sometimes it’s because they’ve relaxed a bit about how they look and they’re focused on other things so they’re enjoying themselves more. Sometimes it’s simply because they’re genuinely happy (yep, it can happen). Sometimes they have just discovered a great sense of perspective that shines from within. Or maybe they are cleverly ‘thinking themselves beautiful’.

Whatever, their secret, I say let’s all focus our minds on feeling beautiful. Choose the right clothes and it helps, naturally. Get some sleep and that also helps. But from today, let’s all look ourselves in the mirror, hold our heads up high and focus on the positive. Ignore the tum and the bags under the eyes, look for the glow and the shiny hair, find confidence in what you’re doing with your life. I am a mum of two. I am not statuesque or photogenic and I am older than I was. However, I’m so proud of my body for what it’s created. I’m proud that I’m learning to dress it as well as possible. Yes, I’d love to look like Kate Moss but I’d also love to write like Zadie Smith and borrow Zuckerberg’s bank account. These things just ain’t going to happen and wishing and complaining won’t make them so.

Smiling, standing tall and saying I am beautiful… that’s easy to do so I’m going to make a resolution today to do that.

Pregnant? People love to look at a pregnant woman. Really they do. You’re larger, yes but you’re making a new life. So cool, so beautiful. New mum? A new baby is the ultimate gorgeous accessory. Feel gorgeous, feel proud. Mummy, mama, maman, yes. Mumsy no.

Let’s all banish the ‘only a mum’ mumsy mindset and strut around a little today! It’s not very British and it’s not really in line with the fashionable ‘self-deprecation’ of the British woman these days but it’s easy and I bet it’ll work. Next time you have to walk into a party, or a cafe and you feel frumpy/fat/nervous just find a way to ‘think yourself beautiful.’ Say to yourself ‘I’m looking gorgeous today’. If nothing else it’ll put an attractive smile on your face!

Think it. Believe it. You’re beautiful you are.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

The best of a bad job (by Elle Tucker)

Monday, March 21st, 2011

It would be nice to think that the glow of love you have would be enough to get you through those first weeks with a new baby looking OK. Well it’s not. If you’re over about twenty, you need help. Fact.

That help comes in the form of some clever beauty tricks and smarty-pants products. There are no miracle workers here; if you want to look like Angelina Jolie you shouldn’t have got yourself knocked up in the first place. She can afford staff, remember?

And all I can do is pass on these, my favourite tips, as someone who has done the newborn baby thing twice – and doesn’t like giving in and looking like an extra from a launderette scene in Eastenders.

1. Even if you’ve had about 40 minutes sleep, draw a line in the sand and call it a new day by having a shower using something invigorating like EO shower gel in Citrus Fusion (£12 for a huge pump dispenser from www.forever-natural.co.uk), or Elemis Sharp Shower and Bath Gel (£18.40). And wash your hair while you’re at it. It’ll wake you up as much as a coffee.

2. Kind people will give you bath products as well as stuff for your sprog. Don’t just think “Pah, as if I have time for such things”. Stick the nipper in a bouncy chair, get granny round, whatever it takes – it will make you feel better to have a soak in the tub. Banish baby blues with Lush’s ‘Ne Worry Pas’ Bath Ballistic (www.lush.com). If nothing else the name is fab.

3. It’s not too late to save your belly – and while it’s shrinking back into shape is a great time to help it along. SilDerm have extended their offering in the UK to a Stretch Mark Treatment Cream (£39.95 from silderm.com), which claims to reduce the length, redness and indentation of marks by acting on them when they are new (i.e. red).

So in other words, don’t give up on your stretch marks – now is the time to help them heal.

4. Lack of sleep, hospital food, dehydration – none of these are going to give you a glowing complexion. Thankfully, some fabulous products can, albeit temporarily. Clarins Beauty Flash Balm (£27.06) is the best known, but Elemis has a great rival in its Fruit Active Rejuvenating Mask (£26.60).

Now you can go to the shops without attracting fearful glances from members of the public.

5. Blusher. Admittedly it will only make you look better but surely that’s half the battle? On parched, tired skin a creamy one works best and is dead easy to slap on. I say God bless MAC for their Blushcreme (£17 – ‘Laid Back’ gives a good natural colour).

And the bonus is that when your friends and relatives invade with their packets of biscuits to hear your gory birth story, you can smile into their cameras knowing that you may not look like Angelina Jolie, but you have something of the Jennifer Aniston about you. Which is better, in my book.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

This guest post is by the brilliant Elle Tucker, doyenne of beauty blogging, brand spanking-new mum for the second time and lover of lotions and potions. It’s been written four weeks after baby no.2 so she knows what she’s talking about. See more from her at productplacement.theblog.com or follow her on Twitter.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

The truth of motherhood.

Friday, March 11th, 2011

Today I have failed in my blog writing.  Totally totally totally. The failure bird hath visited and I must accept defeat.

I have tried, again and again but I just can’t do it.

I wanted to say something with my writing; something private, personal but oh-so-important.

It’s just not working.

This is the thing.  I find it impossible to write about how much I love my children. There are no words to express how they make my heart sing with joy and my life feel worthwhile. I have accepted that it is a task well beyond the talents of a basic blog writer to find a description of the world of love I have for them.

I was thinking about what to say to a friend of mine who has had a challenging pregnancy and is nervous about what lies ahead. She’s just going into labour and I am floundering around with nervousness and with trying to express the truth. I thought it I wrote it down it might help.

All I want to say to anyone who is tired during pregnancy or nervous about a first time birth is this: The inconvenience of pregnancy, the challenges of labour are sub-atomic, tiny particles compared to the magnitude of the miracle of having a child.

It is absolutely, completely and utterly worth it. I think. I believe. I know.

That’s all there is to say.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Photo Fabulous Tips- Children on Camera.

Thursday, January 6th, 2011

There are many, many reasons why I am happy to be a woman alive now, rather than in any other period in history. They veer on the serious (lower maternal and infant mortality, relatively equal rights, longer life expectancy) but there’s also one important one which is perhaps a little more frivolous. I love, love, love living in a time of digital photography. Taking millions of pictures of my family and being able to edit them is a wonderful luxury which I constantly give thanks for.

Here is me, taken with our new Christmas camera, performing ‘A Chubby Little Snowman’ with the girls!

I’ve asked Tamsin, our dear Bb London social marketing specialist, mum of two and brilliant photographer to write this blog entry. I thought it would be useful for her to share some tips on how to take good photos of children (hers are always fantastic although maybe it does help to have two photogenic boys who are sons of an actor so are very confident in front of a camera!)

The only extra one I would add is advice I once received from a super-creative creative director friend of mine (Marksteen) who said to me ‘just take LOTS of photos’. The brilliance of digital means you can do that and you’re much more likely then to capture a great one!

Photography Thoughts by Tamsin: Top Ten Tips for Children’s Shots
A lot of people will have been given a super-duper all-singing all-dancing SLR camera for Christmas this year. I’m lucky enough to already have one, and I like to look at other people’s cameras when I get the chance!

As a budding professional photographer, and someone who has spent more than her fair share of time behind the camera in TV production, I’ve seen many of these cameras being mis-used, or simply not being used to their full potential. I find it amazing how many people have wonderful cameras, boast about having been on several Photography Courses – and then don’t seem to be able to produce good photographs.

Here are my top tips for getting good shots with your lovely camera.

Firstly, get someone who knows about your camera – even if it is the man in the shop, to set your Auto Focus (AF) with a reasonable aperture and f-stop. This means that – in most lights, you can take a pretty good shot.

Don’t worry about trying to manipulate the focus manually until you know more about the camera. Use AF and start shooting straight away. The beauty of a digital camera is you can keep shooting and you won’t waste any film.

Before you get your camera out – decide what it is you basically want to shoot that day. If I’m going to a party, I decide ahead of time what I know I want to come home with – close up shots of people’s faces, or wide shots taking in the whole party? Your camera will do it all. If you are going to a Wedding, for example – it’s always wise to think about what combinations of people you’d like to get together. We’ve all come home and said ‘oh, we didn’t get one of so-and-so and so-and-so together’ etc, haven’t we?! Don’t be afraid to be slightly bossy, too – it can really pay off!

If you want to do a series of posed close-up shots of children then here are some rules:
1. Always, always look at your lighting first. If it is a bright sunny day, you don’t want the child to be blinking into the sun, so try to position yourself where the sun is behind the child. Alternatively – take them into the shade. Equally, if it is a very windy day and you’re shooting outside – think of finding a location that is more protected.

2. HAVE FUN. Children, especially (and even babies!) – will pick-up if you are anxious or bossy, or not happy. If you laugh and have a play with them, sit back and wait – they’ll give you some gems back.

3. One of the most common mistakes I see is people don’t look at the background when they take a shot. Try not to take a shot of a child in front of the dustbins, for example. It’s an amazingly simple and common mistake to make! I often look at the background first, then deliberately get my subject comfortable where I need them.

4. Before ‘clicking’ always double-check the framing of the shot. This makes the WORLD of a difference. If you take that 1 extra second to think ‘can I come in closer?’ or ‘do I need the tree in shot too?’ or ‘would this be better if I could see the puppy in her lap too?’ – it makes editing the shot afterwards so much simpler.

5. Ask the parent to make sure the child is dressed nicely – and always bring a change of clothes. You may find that the only background you can find is white – and horror, the child is dressed in white and will be a ‘floating head’. This would be a good time to suggest that they change into something a little more colourful!

6. Give them a toy that they love, something familiar.

7. If you can – put on their favourite music. I always make sure I have music or if we’re outside – bubbles, for little children.

8. Once the child is happy and relaxed, put a long lens on the camera, stand back and shoot.

9. If the child is very young, make sure that Mum is close by. You may have to take shots of the child in his or her parent’s arms.

10. Always remember that with all children – you have a finite amount of time before it becomes a chore. So shoot for a short time, then know when to put the camera down and relax.

Let us know what you think of the tips and if you have any more for us.

Too tired to party?

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

‘Tis the season for Christmas parties. Lots of them, everywhere, all the time.  At work, with friends, with neighbours. Surely you’re happy about that? Who doesn’t love a party after all? Well…anyone who is slightly hormonal & a bit overtired may not be feeling quite so sparkly about the non-stop parties.  That’s particularly the case for people who are pregnant or who have a very new baby.

Here are three thoughts from the Bb London team on how to survive (nay, even enjoy) the festive frivolities if you are pregnant, a new mum… or even just a bit cream crackered!

1. How to look like you’re drinking without drinking.

 I’m a gin and tonic girl; love the stuff. But obviously ‘mother’s ruin’ doesn’t work when you’re pregnant and many people want to cut down on their alcohol consumption.

 It’s tricky not drinking when everyone else is. Soft drinks can, frankly,be dullsville. It’s particularly hard if you don’t want people to know you’re not drinking (too early in the pregnancy perhaps… or you just don’t want to drink and everyone will call you a killjoy).  

A friend of mine claimed she’d converted to Mormonism the other day to stave off the beer bullies. Unfortunately someone at the same party was also a Mormon and engaged her in a tricky conversation about bigamy so that’s not one she’ll try again. 

If you want to avoid such extreme porkie-pies,  bear in mind that it is often very easy to hold one glass of wine or champagne for a while without people realising you’re not drinking it. Distract people with sparkling conversation and it’s amazing how easy it is to get away with this. This is especially straightforward at a cocktail party & you can slip off and leave the glass somewhere or empty it surreptitiously in the bathroom.

Alternatively, get a drink yourself from the bar and get a lovely big glass of tonic with slice and ice. It’s a really refreshing drink and no-one can tell that you’re not drinking gin with it.

3. Wonder Wedges

If you are a heel lover, try some soft flat shoes you can now get to tuck in your bag to make sure you don’t have to teeter to the taxi or tube in your stilettos. They can be found very cheaply – or splash out on something special like these lovely Lanvins from Net-a-Porter.

Heals do a cute pair in a little purse for £45.

Pregnant and need some heels for height, confidence and a bit of added va-va-voom? The shops are full of great winter wedges at the moment – boots and dressier, funkier shoes like these sweet black suede wedges by Kors or there are cheaper alternatives at Kurt Geiger.

They’ll give you the extra something without making you feel unbalanced.

3. The Password and The Deal.

Going to a party you’re feeling nervous about or just don’t really want to go to? (Maybe your other half’s work event which can sometimes be a strain?)

We suggest you agree with the person you’re going with on a password which when you use when you really can’t take any more. It can be as simple as you using the word ‘sweetie’ or ‘darling’ if they aren’t terms you normally use. 

The password when used is the hint to them to wrap things up with an excuse to leave. It’s good to have an excuse prepared (‘the babysitter/the last tube/the fact that you are pregnant’). You’ll need to agree this deal in advance but if you’re driving then it’s a pretty good deal.  Just make sure they don’t overdo the Christmas Spirits and forget the password otherwise you’ll find yourself saying ‘darling’ over and over in a very cross tone!

Do let us know any other tips and ideas for enjoying a party when you’re a little under par! It happens to us all at times:-)

Shock and awww. (The first few days after having a baby….)

Friday, October 1st, 2010

My very smart, very organised, very lovely sister-in-law gave birth to her first child a week ago. I’m over the moon to have a new nephew and absolutely delighted for her. 

I’m also feeling sad that we don’t live a little nearer as I think that close girlfriends or family members who have recently given birth are very useful allies in the early days after having a baby.

Nobody could have prepared me for the tsunami of adoration and protectiveness I felt when Rosie was first born. But, there’s no denying it, the first few days and weeks were definitely a seismic shock.

Newborn Baby

Rosie - the early days.

My sister who had been through it all ten years before was a godsend to talk to. My brother-in-law (her husband) was also helpful in an odd way. He told me and my better half to ‘prepare ourselves for six weeks of hell’. I thought it was unduly negative at the time but what he meant was that until the baby responds/smiles etc.it can be pretty hard.

My expectations were pretty low as a result of his comment so it was lovely to discover that the early days while definitely rather intense were not quite as bad as he’d painted things &, indeed, had moments of complete and utter joy.

I do love the wise words from Justine Robert (founder of mumsnet) who says she wishes all mothers could be issued with a fridge magnet saying ‘this is only a phase’.

The early days with babies change so quickly but you do feel as each bit will last forever. You won’t be breastfeeding every four hours for the rest of your life, your body won’t feel like that, the baby will change… this too will pass.

Another very good friend has had her second baby this week and she is very consciously savouring and treasuring each moment because she knows that the transformation is so quick – the tough times and the beautiful newborn treasure of it all – both change in the blink of an eye. An unforgettable time for everyone.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________