The longlegged perennial Jerry Hall was in the press recently talking about how important it is to ‘think yourself beautiful’.

Hmm. Oh yes Jerry, that must be so hard for such a short dumpy plain Jane girl like you. The glamorous mum-of-four Ms Hall is definitely no dumb blonde though and this has got me thinking.  She has a point here…

Being attractive is inextricably linked with your mindset. You know how interested men all come at once? As poetry queen Wendy Cope put it so succinctly:
‘Bloody  men are like bloody buses… You wait for about a year
And as soon as one approaches your stop,
Two or three others appear.’

Often this is simply because you’re confident thanks to attention from one man, and  confidence just is incredibly sexy.  I’ll bet you know someone who isn’t actually that beautiful but is gloriously attractive. Because she acts it. Because she believes it. And if she believes it then people around her will too. Beth Ditto’s uber-confidence is fabulous.  And what about my dodgy icon of the moment: Wallis Simpson? Not a real beauty but she ensnared many a man and the respect of many a woman in her time. And what about you and me? Feel good about yourself. Think yourself beautiful. I’m going to try. Say it loud, say it proud: ‘I’m looking bloody gorgeous today!’

Let’s face facts here. At no point is it more important to have a positive mental mindset than as a new mother. How does one do it though? How do you avoid the ‘mummy mindset’ that focuses on the babysick and the larger bottom and focus on feeling beautiful? It’s not easy feeling glamorous or beautiful but I’ve noticed that a significant number of my friends have definitely become more gorgeous since having babies. It defies the obvious logic but I swear it’s true.

Sometimes it’s because they’ve relaxed a bit about how they look and they’re focused on other things so they’re enjoying themselves more. Sometimes it’s simply because they’re genuinely happy (yep, it can happen). Sometimes they have just discovered a great sense of perspective that shines from within. Or maybe they are cleverly ‘thinking themselves beautiful’.

Whatever, their secret, I say let’s all focus our minds on feeling beautiful. Choose the right clothes and it helps, naturally. Get some sleep and that also helps. But from today, let’s all look ourselves in the mirror, hold our heads up high and focus on the positive. Ignore the tum and the bags under the eyes, look for the glow and the shiny hair, find confidence in what you’re doing with your life. I am a mum of two. I am not statuesque or photogenic and I am older than I was. However, I’m so proud of my body for what it’s created. I’m proud that I’m learning to dress it as well as possible. Yes, I’d love to look like Kate Moss but I’d also love to write like Zadie Smith and borrow Zuckerberg’s bank account. These things just ain’t going to happen and wishing and complaining won’t make them so.

Smiling, standing tall and saying I am beautiful… that’s easy to do so I’m going to make a resolution today to do that.

Pregnant? People love to look at a pregnant woman. Really they do. You’re larger, yes but you’re making a new life. So cool, so beautiful. New mum? A new baby is the ultimate gorgeous accessory. Feel gorgeous, feel proud. Mummy, mama, maman, yes. Mumsy no.

Let’s all banish the ‘only a mum’ mumsy mindset and strut around a little today! It’s not very British and it’s not really in line with the fashionable ‘self-deprecation’ of the British woman these days but it’s easy and I bet it’ll work. Next time you have to walk into a party, or a cafe and you feel frumpy/fat/nervous just find a way to ‘think yourself beautiful.’ Say to yourself ‘I’m looking gorgeous today’. If nothing else it’ll put an attractive smile on your face!

Think it. Believe it. You’re beautiful you are.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________